Moving

So I've lived long enough now, I'm realizing that life does just happen.  We are facing a move.  A big move.  Another state. Another town.  A new church. A new home. A new life of sorts.  

Now change has never been my strength, I would be just as happy to live in the same little squat house for all my days, letting my children return to me there, bringing me warm tea, as I rock and cherish the memories in the walls.  But...that is not my life.  I married a pastor.  Enough said.

This morning I had one of my freak outs.  The long list of TO DO's overwhelmed me.  I felt Alone, Tired, Angry, Sorrowful.  

After chasing my husband away with my hard, frustrated words, I stopped, cried. And realized that my need for control was raising its hairy, slobbery head.

And as the day has moved along, as it always does, I realize once again, that it is about releasing control that life comes.  That JOY, in spite of chaos, can bloom.  I am reminded that being present for the moment is more important than the fear of the future....

And just as the ocean waves keep lapping the shoreline, the minutes keep passing, never to return.  And the move WILL happen.  

The NEW will arrive, along with the insight from the OLD.  

And as my precious mother-in-law used to say..."THIS TO SHALL PASS".

But will it pass with JOY, or with frustration and striving and pushing?  

I choose JOY. JOY. JOY!